What I Read::Pesta Buku Antarabangsa 2008,Part 2


The book.


The autograph.

Reaching The Stars-Sheikh Mustapha Shukor Al-Masrie
A poignant memoir and sad indeed,revealing a brother's love and unbashed admiration for his elder brother which is our first Angkasawan. I bought this book and suprisely as planned,the author was there to give autograph which was I made it despite have to endure lots of admiring fan who appeared somehow refused to buy the book. Mmm...handsome jugalah Dr.Sheikh Muszaphar up close and personal but as my mother said,"dia sahaja yang handsome".

What I Read::Pesta Buku Antarabangsa 2008,Part 1

My Life And Other Catastrophes-Rowena Mohr
Hahaha.This Australian based 'Girl Fiction' book is so damn funny.Never fail to make me smile always page after page.Ya.This book is about a girl's life named Erin Costello.OK.Please don't blink your eyes.I know it may sound weird err...like a pervert.I'm an adult man and this is a so called diary of a teenage girl but do I look like I care?This book was deadly realistic writing which feel very honest and convincing too.

Does Your Life Add Up-Max Coopa
Please don't judge the book by its title.This book is not a lovey dovey kind of a book.It's a numerologist book on how to use numbers to find the perfect relationship for desperately dateless or if you are head over heels in love.Sound like crap isn't?Ya.I know.Don't hate me.I bought it for fun.It just cost me RM54.50.Nonetheless,this book is like the answer of our Tajul Muluk version of Australia people.Err...do I see a lot of question marks here?

Dior by Dior,The Autobiography of Christian Dior
I always wanted to read autobiography but somehow I got uninterested by the subject.In addition,most autobiography appeared to be thick like some engineering book or something which is always has a negative turned me off effect.Nonetheless,this is my first ever autobiography book.RM 63.50 for 194 pages.I hope Dior as his fascinating haute couture might be an eye opener to the subject of autobiography for me.

The Laws Of Simplicity:Design,Technology,Business,Life Series-John Maeda
Beware in mind.This is a techinal book by its' nature but the interesting fact about this book is it's written in such a plain language that coincidently preached it's own titled,simplicity.The author is a professor in MIT Media Lab and a world-renowned graphic designer.I bought this book because I'm involved in a designing thing and somehow I'm got fed-up with peoples who like to request complex requirement that added up to become too complicated for stupid user. Maybe,a good simple but hip case study:iPod.As preface of the book said,this book explores the question of how we can redefine the notion 'improved' so that it doesn't always mean something more,something added on.I hope I can found the way to help me to become a good designer and overcome the simplicity paradox:we want something that is simple and easy to use but also does all the complex things we might ever want it to do.Err...simple but complex?Are you kidding me,Maeda?

Keladang-Datuk A.Samad Said
This is the second book from the same author,our renowned Sasterwan Negara after Salina which I read sometimes ago.Keladang is a story about a group of villagers during the Japanese Occupation in Malaya.This Edisi Seni Warisan Melaka(Datuk A.Samad Said is from Melaka) is specially signed by the author.I seriously hope I don't get bored reading this wonderful book.

Growing Up In Terengganu-Awang Goneng.
A book by a fellow blogger(real name Wan Ahmad Hulaimi) which I first read a review about it in another blogger blog.I like his English very much eventhough the irony is that this book life journey start first as a blog.As the saying at the front cover said,'Awang Goneng does with words what Lat does with pictures'.Mmm...now I wonder if this blog ever able qualify to be translated into a book.Hello!Do I have a buyer out side there?

Pagi Yang Tercemar

Apalah nak jadi dengan dunia sekarang?

Pagi-pagi lagi dunia hari aku sudah tercemar.Buat pencinta alam sekitar, sila bertenang. Ini bukan cerita bukit kena tarah.Atau kisah pencemaran bau waima pencemaran bau ketiak sekalipun. Ini kisah pencemaran mata.

Turun tangga rumah ala-ala seorang peragaan beg(serius,memang aku pergi kerja bawa banyak beg), mata aku yang masih anak dara lagi telah tercemar teruk.Retina itu ternampak adegan orang bercium.Wah!Jijiknya.Rasa geli geleman pun ada.Mana tidaknya, yang dicium itu lelaki. Yang mencium itu pun lelaki juga.Yang dicium itu memang tak jambu langsung.Yang mencium itu pula, agak jambu jugalah dan dia memang murah dengan senyuman kalau ternampak aku.

Mmm...OK.Mungkin bercium itu satu adegan yang terlalu berat untuk digambarkan tetapi babak seumpama itu memang boleh ditonton secara percuma setiap pagi hari di pintu masuk utama pejabat aku di sini.Sang isteri menyalam tangan suami.Sang suami pula membalas dengan mencium pipi atau dahi si isteri.Wah!Romantik bukan?Walaupun tiada sesiapa pun yang aku nak cium setiap pagi, tapi adegan yang aku nampak itu memang tak romantik langsung.Apa kejadahnya kan?Serius aku rasa nak mencarut.Terang-terangan alam pula adegannya.

Aku tahulah sekarang perempuan memang semua dah bertukar jadi species yang materialistik tapi masih,macam tak payahlah kan kau nak cium itu lelaki.Buatlah bodoh macam aku sahaja. Tak mati pun tak kena cium.

Hai.Dunia memang dah nak kiamat sangat.

Orang putih ke,orang tak putih ke,sama sahaja rosaknya.

Mencari Biru

Kad jemputan dah sampai.
Aturcara majlis dah diatur.
Dewan pun dah ada.
Malah,penyanyi tersohor pun dah ditempah.

Tapi baju biru masih lagi tak ada lagi.Memang itu satu masalah negara tahap ke 10. Maka berlarilah sekejap Stan Smith putih itu ke quartet Pavillion,Star Hill,Lot 10 dan Sungai Wang.

Kaki sudah letih tapi tak ada satu pun baju biru yang berkenan di hati. Argh!sudah. Lelaki ini memanglah cerewet dari bab memilih baju sampailah ke bab memilih Mc Donald. Maka,singgah sekejap ke KLCC. Argh!Gagal juga dengan jayanya.Terbeli baju hitam corak Oriental adalah.Misi diteruskan lagi di Mid Valley.Bak kata orang,usaha tangga kejayaan tapi apa yang berjaya di Mid Valley hanyalah kekecewaan. Eee... kenapalah dalam banyak-banyak warna,biru juga yang jadi tema pilihan. Biru itu sesungguhnya adalah warna tahun lepas.

Cuba pergi The Garden pula.Mmm...macam ada tapi macam mahal pula. Si baju biru jenama pereka buatan Malaysia yang tak mahu aku sebut namanya.Dah malas nak fikir sebab tinggal 3 jam sahaja lagi maka si baju biru firus itu dirembat walaupun ada rasa tak berkenan dengan rupa ala tentera di bahagian bahu baju.

Itulah.Kalau masa nak cari memang payah nak jumpa yang berkenan.
Bila tak cari,melimpah ruah pula di depan mata.

Boleh tak kalau aku nak jadi hijau kalau macam ini selalu?

Tutup Blog

Jikalau ada hari lapang yang datang macam sebulan sekali,di waktu senggang baca blog dia satu ketagihan.Kadang-kadang ada kemaskini tetapi selalunya dia macam aku,lama gila tak mengemaskini.Tak tahulah sebab apa frekuensi malas kami sama.

Biasanya aku mesti tersenyum riang membaca cerita dia yang sama berulang-ulang tetapi hari itu aku jadi bengang.Aku tak boleh masuk blog dia.Ah sudah!Itu memang satu tekanan tatkala hati ini perlu diriangkan.Apa salah aku?Bukan tak boleh masuk pasal tak ada network tapi pasal blog itu telah diupah pak pengawal keselamatan.

Maka,segala medan komunikasi Internet dicuba untuk menghubungi dia. Akan tetapi cubaan aku sia-sia belaka.Dia,Pink,skandal teman tapi mesra tetap tak mahu layan aku pun. Maka bagai melukut ditepi gantanglah aku jadinya.Namun,setiap teknologi itu ada kelemahannya. Terima kasih Rizal dan Kimi.Idea anda berdua memang berkesan.Tak payah aku nak jadi hacker ke apa.

Terima kasih Google.

Muah!

Aku telah riang semula.

Pink juga telah insaf(baca:sibuk pergi luar negara katanya) dan telah membuka semula blognya untuk aku.

Toss Of A Coin

Anton Chigurh	: What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss.
Gas Station Proprietor	: Sir?
Anton Chigurh	: The most. You ever lost. On a coin toss.
Gas Station Proprietor	: I don't know. I couldn't say.

[Chigurh flips a quarter from the change on the counter and covers it with his hand]

Anton Chigurh	: Call it.
Gas Station Proprietor	: Call it?
Anton Chigurh	: Yes.
Gas Station Proprietor	: For what?
Anton Chigurh	: Just call it.
Gas Station Proprietor	: Well, we need to know what we're calling it for here.
Anton Chigurh	: You need to call it. I can't call it for you. It wouldn't be fair.
Gas Station Proprietor	: I didn't put nothin' up.
Anton Chigurh	: Yes, you did. You've been putting it up your whole life you just didn't know it. You know what date is on this coin?
Gas Station Proprietor	: No.
Anton Chigurh	: 1958. It's been traveling twenty-two years to get here. And now it's here. And it's either heads or tails. And you have to say. Call it.
Gas Station Proprietor	: Look, I need to know what I stand to win.
Anton Chigurh	: Everything.
Gas Station Proprietor	: How's that?
Anton Chigurh	: You stand to win everything. Call it.
Gas Station Proprietor	: Alright. Heads then.

[Chigurh removes his hand, revealing the coin is indeed heads]

Anton Chigurh

: Well done.

[The gas station proprietor nervously takes the quarter with the small pile of change he's apparently won while Chigurh starts out]

Anton Chigurh	: Don't put it in your pocket, sir. Don't put it in your pocket. It's your lucky quarter.
Gas Station Proprietor	: Where do you want me to put it?
Anton Chigurh	: Anywhere not in your pocket. Where it'll get mixed in with the others and become just a coin. Which it is.

[Chigurh leaves and the gas station proprietor stares at him as he walks out]

Note:Script taken from 80th Oscar Best Picture winner,No Country For Old Men.

Dah Nak Mati Sangat?

Berapa agaknya harga budi bahasa sekarang ini?

Aku yang sememangnya telah lama bengang dengan kakak HR yang glamour dengan kadar kelembapannya telah bertambah bengang.Aku yang sedang marah tak pasal-pasal telah menyirap darah marah kejantanan aku.Walaupun bukan aku yang kena,aku memang akan bertegas untuk bengang sekalipun ia tidak melibatkan maruah dan wang aku.

Mana tidaknya.Satu soalan mudah pasal Sumber Manusia telah dijawab secara membabi-buta tanpa ada tatasusila langsung seorang Sumber Manusia yang secara logik mudahnya patut lebih kedengaran mesra pekerja.

"Apa!Dah nak mati sangat!".

Eee...macam babilahkan jawapan dia.Aku orang Melaka yang mana terkenal seantara negeri sebagai kaum mulut celupar tapi baik hatinya tapi oleh kerana aku dibesarkan dan disekolahkan di metropolitan KL, aku rasa jawapan itu amatlah tidak patut sama sekali.Ada cara lain yang lebih berhemah lagi untuk menjawabnya.Kalau akulah yang kena jawab macam itu,kalau tak kena ludah dengan aku mestilah dapat penampar dari aku. Kalau tak sempat pun,wajiblah dapat babi percuma dari aku walaupun aku tahu harga babi agak mahal sekarang.

Secara jujurnya memang ada umat-umat manusia di sekeliling aku yang mulutnya macam celaka tapi mereka ingat orang ramai macam suka sangatlah dengan cara mereka.Nak aku tegur,mereka dah tua.Tak nak ditegur,rasa kasihan pula.Nak aku kata mak mereka tak ajar,nampak macam aku kurang ajarlah pula.Patutnya mereka yang bermulut macam celaka ini dihantarkan kursus budi bahasa amalan kita dan diwajibkan ada budi bahasa dalam KPI tahunan mereka.Bukankah kita ini belajar sepanjang hayat dan aku kira mereka belum terlambat lagi untuk jadi manusia yang manis tutur katanya.

Aku berkawan dan bergaul mesra dengan ramai orang.Ada yang berDatok,berDatok Seri, berDatin,berDatin Seri,dan ramainya yang biasa-biasa sahaja tapi tidak pernah pula ada yang berkasar bahasa tanpa usul periksa dan keadaannya.Sopan santun semuanya. Kadang-kadang sampai aku pula yang naik segan sebab tersalah pilih kata-kata sebab mulut aku pun boleh tahan macam celaka juga.

Antara manusia dengan manusia,aku tak nilaikan harga diri seseorang ikut berapa banyak duit yang ada atau berapa tinggi pangkat mereka. Laksana memilih isteri,budi bahasa itulah yang paling penting sekali. Cubalah bayangkan,berapa agaknya harganya kalau muka sudahlah tak cantik dan mulut pula macam celaka?Bagi percuma(dengan Civic 2007 warna hitam)pun aku tak mahu datang dekat.

Ikutlah resmi padi,semakin berisi semakin tunduk.

Janganlah berlagak hidung tinggi macam lalang,semakin lama semakin meninggi.Itu semua tak ada maknanya.Tak kiralah kalau anda perasan anda macam bagus sangat sekalipun kerana sekalipun anda macam bagus sangat,ada orang lain yang lebih bagus dan lebih manis tutur katanya.

Ada Yang Tak Kena

Waktu itu makan tengah hari.Di kantin lama yang baru dibuka.Lauk yang ada sungguh tidak menghairahkan nafsu lidah.Orang buat air pula gagal gila.Pemandangan alam sekitar pun tidak menarik juga.Ramai makcik-makcik sahaja.Rasa macam nak berbulu biji mata aku menjamu selera. Sengal mula memenuhi rasa.

Kami yang tadinya rancak berbual tiba-tiba jadi bisu seribu bahasa. Macam malu-malu nak berkata-kata.En.S,bekas bos aku tanpa dipelawa telah ambil tempat kosong yang ada. Kumpulan kami yang satu telah terpecah dua.Aku terperangkap di daerah yang kurang selesa.

"Siapa yang pergi launching INFO*LAST?"

En.S cuba beramah mesra.Memang payah sebenarnya bos-bos hendak mencemarkan duli duduk semeja dengan anak-anak buahnya.Tak setaraf agaknya.Tapi, macamlah aku hairan pun.

"Saya dan Ezatul.Orang TM ramailah".

En.Miji(memang nama sebenar) melawan kata.

"Apa yang ada?".

En.S cuba lagi untuk beramah mesra.

"Adalah produk TM Net.MC,Fara Fauzana dan Faizal Ismail."

En.Miji macam biasa rajin melayan soalan.Aku dan kawan-kawan buat-buat macam biasa.

"Siapa yang launching?"

En.S tanya lagi.

"Pn.Zainab yang Acting CEO TM Net".

En.Miji jawab.

"Bos-bos kita siapa yang pergi?".

En.S tanya lagi.

"Tak ada.Semua ada hal agaknya".

En.Miji selamba menjawab.

"Something is wrong".

En.S membalas kata.OK.Sekarang aku mula rasa menarik.

"Mmm...mereka tak suka saya kot En.S.Tapi saya rasa En.S bagus.Tak pernah miss lagi kot launching yang penting-penting macam ini".

Aku cuba mengipas bukan bos aku.

"Something is wrong".

En.S mengomel lagi.

Ya.Aku setuju dengan En.S.Memang ada sesuatu yang tak kena.

Laksana pergi berperang,askar yang berjalan kaki diletakkan di depan sedangkan maharaja-maharaja yang berkuda angkuh bersedia di belakang.

Dalam filem 300,aku tengok King Leonidas sentiasa di depan bila bertempur dengan Persians.Tak macam King Xerxes yang sudahlah muka macam muka pondan(kenapalah solekan dia macam itu) asyik pula duduk di belakang sahaja.Memang padan mukalah dia kalah berperang.

Itu kes lain.Itu kes perang betul-betul.

Tapi kes perang olok-olok ini seperti kata En.S,memang ada sesuatu yang tak kena.

Nota:Aku juga tidak pergi launching ini dan dialog di atas telah diedit sependek yang mungkin kerana jika berborak dengan En.S,memang akan jadi panjang berjela-jela sampai terlebih masa.Harap maklum.

A Change Would Do You Good

Wimp.

You know you are better than that guy.Or girl.But you never take credit.You never rock the boat.You have the treasure trove of great ideas tucked under your bed for recognition that never seem to arrive.You are a wimp.

Why work where you are INVISIBLE?The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

Unleash that suppressed talent.It's time for a change.

How about you try this.

Engineer by day,ala Sufiah by night.Well,if she is the Princess then probably you can assume the title King.

You have the web and now all you need is a pimp.

Sound cool right?

So,You Think You Can Model::Part 1

My anger had shoot over the roof.I cannot sleep and I refused to work. Since this is so bad,I tried to make peace with the anger that had demonized inside me.I went to OU to chill out.All alone by myself as usual. Ah!Dammit.It doesn't work at all. I'm still angry after almost a 2 hours movie,a piece of cake,a jeans,a shirt and a bottle of perfume.

I was walking to go home in a serius angry looking face then before I was stopped by this recruiter.

"Encik!Do you have a minute?We are doing a nation-wide casting...".

Before I can say that I'm tired,the recruiter had handed me a pamplet.I read it nonchalantly.

"What is this?"

Well,not that I didn't understand of what I just read but I have my doubt over it. Like always to everything else.

"Boleh ke ni?

I asked for further clarification.Seriously,I'm neither amused nor excited.

"I think you got the look and the body type for it Sir"?

I rolled my eyes in disbelief and I want to tickle myself.Now I think the recruiter is funny.

"HA.HA.HA."

I laughed in slow motion.

"Fill in your particular and sign there".

2 minutes later as I'm so damn tired and afraid I will miss Shin Chan,I just surrendered myself to the recruiter.

"Sir.Can I take your photos?"

Err...do I like have a chance to say No?

So,in front of so many people that passing by,a history for me is created that day.For the first I'm reluctantly posed in front of a public.I prayed very hard that none of people who knew me were there.A few batches of girls did threw a coyly smile at me while my photos being taken. Ah!That is seriously so embrassing.For the first time in a week,I did smile too.OK. That was a lied. My smile was all faked and it's just for the photographer. I'm still angry nonchalantly.

Nonetheless,I think this encounter is so weird.How come when I'm in an angry situation, happy things always come to me.First,I scored a smile-on-my-face marks in an interview and now,a casting to be a model wannabe? Hahaha.Ya right.It's so unbelieveable. Angry is a bad chi but some how for unknown reason for me,positif things always come in return to cheer me up.Like,I should'nt be sad after all. Err...can any expert on Law of Attraction explain this as I'm sure that I don't put 'be a model' in my Vibrational Bubble.

"We will only select 15 to 20 people for the final selection and if you are selected,we will inform you."

The recruiter bidded me farewell as we parted for a day.

Mmm...this is indeed a story worth telling my future children or grandchildren(if any). I'm sure I will be all smiling to the ears later then.

Note:To be continued in part 2.The Second stage.

Death Sentence



Detective Wallis: This thing stops right now. God knows why you're still alive. But you're being given a second chance. You think that officer's out there protecting you? He's protecting you from yourself. He'll haul your ass right to jail if I say so. You want your retribution and you kill a couple of punks, and it brought you what? Huh? Everybody think's they're right in a war. Everybody still dies in the end. You are never going to win this, Mr. Hume. Nobody is.

Nicholas "Nick" Hume: It was never gonna balance.

Detective Wallis: What did you say?

Nicholas "Nick" Hume: The equation. Sometimes it's... just chaos. That's all there is.


War is a crime of revenge.War can turned as ugly as a sin.To define right or wrong in a war it all lies on the eyes of the beholder.People don't simply go to a war for fun.They go for a reason.For something that want to protect.For everything that they are not satisfied with.If I have have a choice,I don't want to go to a war.I hate war just like how I loathed an ego-maniac boss.Come worst to worst,I still rather be OK enjoying my day at MidValley rather than tiring my body in the battlefield.

Some people hate history but history told us that Sultan Mahmud Shah II Mangkat di Julang. Certainly,I don't want repeat a history just like Laksama Bentan who took revenge for the death of his pregnant wife, Dang Anum who was executed by the stupid Sultan for just having eaten a slice of jackfruit from the royal orchard.But,if I have to go to a war, I will make sure damn right that I'm so true on the right path because I hate to deal with myself later if I lost.

Nonetheless,try argue with me and I'm definetely will let you win.Ya.That is the case if I don't like you or you are not mentally beautiful enough to have my cortex audience. Like, who goes all the trouble to draw a battle lines anyway for just a simple grammar mistake that no one care?Ya. I know that human is not perfect but I do know that some human suffer unnecessary obsessive compulsive disorder too.


Nicholas "Nick" Hume: Yeah, we're okay. We find compensations. That's what we do, right? We compensate for our losses. Move on.

Owen: If anything like that ever happened to me I just, I don't know. I think I'd snap.

Nicholas "Nick" Hume: Well, you don't really know what you'd do until it happens. Surprise yourself.

Note:Same just as Laksamana Bentan dan Sultan Mahmud Shah II Mangkat di Julang, Nicholas "Nick" Hume aka Kevin Bacon died at the end of the movie with his nemesis.

Signs To Look Out For

1. Silence,suking or anger towards others.
   


2. Mood swings.
   


3. More than the usual lack of cooperation and rudeness.
   


4. Wanting to spend very little time.
   


5. Poor performance or truancy.
   


6. Dropping out of regular activities,like sport.
   


7. A change of friends-unexlained or sudden change to a new group of friend.


8. Change in pysical appearance.
   


9. Eating problem.
   


10. Lack of energy-feeling tired al the time.
    


11. Valuable items or money missing at home.
    

These are the signs of a substance(a.k.a drug) abuse.Quite suprisingly I have a few of them checked.Wait a minute.Don't be alarmed yet.I'm not taking any drug here. Period.

Well,please blame my anger for that symptom.Never ever I'm having trouble getting a decent sleep before.Maybe I'm so angry.Maybe,I just I failed terribly to reason well with the source of my anger.So,this self-explained my looking like drug-related symptom.

Sleep is my form of escapism.Lack of sleep mean a lot of fun time. Unfortunately, happy time then spell a disaster to me.

Anger is like drug.

Don't become addicted to it.Don't become too dependent on it.

Take it slow and steady.

Note:For more info,please refer The Star,StarTwo,Youth Section,16 April 2008.

Unfair vs Fair

How is it fair if you are asked to be fair to the situation that apparently appeared so not fair to you?

I was like rolled my eyes a few times in disbelief.A few animal names did spelled out too in a slow lip motion.Oh!<Put your favourite curse word here>! Are you kidding me?This is crazy.This is so unfair.If I were Hulk,I must be turned green incrediblely.

I suspected ego must be playing very high here but brushed that aside, do I look like I care? That was the question of the day.Let me spelled the answer for you.B-A-B-Ilah. Ok.I know that pig price had skyrocketed nowadays so I think I should be more frugal with my 'babi' stock.

Fair,justice are a big word for me.Certainly to who,whom asked me too.Maybe I felt victimized that day but didn't that life is just like a big wheel?Some days you are at the top, some days later you are at the bottom.

Well,if you have an ego as big as the size of a penis,maybe you don't realized that. You maybe want to claim that yours is the biggest one around eventhough last time, the reality check speak otherwise.

Until then,please keep up the good work that you think it's fair.

Life is unfair but certainly life is good too.

So please,don't ask me(or other people too) to be fair if you at least have the microscopic doubt that you are being unfair.

If you do,the chances are high that you will get a free BABI from me.

Angry vs Angry

Start date:27 Rabiulawal 1429
End Date :06 Syaaban 1429.Maybe.

Just in case if you ever wonder,that date is my angry season length.Ya!I can tell you that I'm still angry, pissy and sulky right now.OK.It's maybe not very visible to the discerning eyes but I can tell you that it's still mountaining there. Apparently, I'm maybe hide it well under my very fake gorgeous smile.Aha!I think my smiling acting deserve a throphy for that.

I guess my angry had shoot over the roof this time.Maybe because I tried and I failed to reason with it.It being the souce of my angriness.On the positive side,I like very much being angry nonchalantly.Damn!Like seriously.I'm like enjoyed every milisecond of it.At the peak of the angry season,I did amazed myself on how I can pull off that 40% extra weight for every exercises at the gym.Ah!I wonder what will happen If I punched a face at that time.Maybe he will need a plastic surgery later. Damn!Isn't that good if I can get angry for all my gym time.

However,I'm tired of being angry.That is so not happy go lucky me.I'm not one of those Malay who 'marahkan nyamuk,kelambu dibakar'.OK.I lied.Maybe a little. I'm still Malay for God sake.Whatever itis,this angry has to stop nonchalantly. I pitied my boss and people around me who somehow or rather my angry had unleashed the rebel inside them. Huhuhu!I'm scared.Please blame me.

I tried to find solution and voila!I got what I'm asking for. Just like I said earlier, this old virgin does indeed have a few secret admirer. Only all this while I just playing very hard to catch.Later,my CEO found a solution too.

Now,the perfect storm may look calm but apparently it's still not over yet.

Only time will tell the finale.

Lessons Learnt

1. 
   If you produce more error/bug in your work then the people will see you working.The more error/bug you can output,the good worker you are even most of the times I think the error is so stupid like it's shouldn't be happen at all at the first place.But who cares about the quiet worker with no major error/bug that I loves very much to work with!Do your job clumsily and believe me,your will get rewarded heavily.I think I came across a scientific theory about this somewhere.The hypothesis is that,people remember better about bad things than the good things in the life.So please.I beg you.Please produce more error/bug in your work.Your boss will appreciate you better.



2. 
   Never ever trying to be a hero.Period.If you see the project is doomed to be failed,let it be.Don't try to save it.Don't ever think about it.Stupid me!I took over others people failed job and I get penalized.Yeah right!How convenient it can be.I successfully saved one before and the project turned out to be our fat cash cow now but again second time around is not a always charmer.At least for me.



3. 
   Working over time or in weekend is just a waste of time.No matter how ASAP the work need to be done or simply if you for some unknown reason are over loving with your job because what I learnt is that,that kind of love isn't mutual.So please go back early,save your health.Save your relationship.Err...and save your plants too.




4. 
   A good boss is the one who stick with you through bad and good times.Or...maybe through supernatural time too.Thank Miji for stayed back with me.I think he think that I'm afraid to stay back alone because of some kind of ghost or supernatural things in the office.Aiyo!Commonlah boss.I once did the Celcom migration ll alone in the whole building at 3 am in the morning and no ghost.Mmm...but the lampu yang berkelip-kelip itu sungguhlah mensuspenskan aku.Well,like in a horror movie,when there is a ghost coming,the lamp must be flickering like hell.Huhuhu!I'm scared.



5. 
   As once said by Datuk Wahib Omar,a happy worker perform better.Indeed,I think it's so true.So, please make me happy.

Bila Aku Buat Matematik

Matematik itu makanan seorang jurutera.Tapi hubungan aku dengan matematik hanya sekadar teman tapi mesra.Topik yang paling selalu menjadi lauk kegagalan aku ialah kebarangkalian.

Hari itu hari buat matematik sedunia.Orang lain semua sudah lama membuat kira-kira nak buat apa dengan angka-angka mereka tapi aku masih lagi sibuk gila seperti biasa dengan masalah binari gila.Lagipun aku memang takut hendak membuat kira-kira itu kerana barang kali motivasi bekerja aku akan jatuh terjunam.Hajat di hati,dah siap MNP baru aku nak mula mengira.

Namun,niat yang murni itu tak panjang umurnya.Sila salahkan pengaruh rakan sebaya untuk itu.

Aku buka Maybank2u.Aku catitkan angka-angkanya.Aku buka email.Aku tekan kalkulator dan terus aku ke Alamanda cuba menghiburkan hati yang kecewa.

Babi!Aku memang tak puas hati.Buat kali pertama dalam masa 9 tahun, aku tak puas hati dengan Level aku.Memang marah tahap menggigil satu badan.

Minggu itu dan minggu-minggu seterusnya,aku mogok malas tak mahu buat matematik.Datang kerja hanya untuk menunjukkan muka yang marah sahaja.

Itulah.Siapa suruh aku buat matematik lagi masa aku sibuk.

Padan muka MNP dan kawan-kawan yang senasib dengannya.

Like A Virgin

Uneasy.Panic.Nervous.Feel the adrenalin surge like so much blood coursing through the veins. The heart beat thumping like it was put on a microphone.Scare. Unsure.Uncertain.Sweaty palms.

Damn!I hate interview.Prepared or unprepared.

It's like;Dude!Strip naked.Stand on that petri dish.We are going to microscoping you.Huhuhu.I'm scared.

OK.Please pardon my tad over the top ala Gulliver's Travel imagination but still interview is like taking an examination.You go out from there with a result.KO or OK.

In many many years,this is the first interview.With that,I'm proud to claim that I'm so much interviewee virgin.Mmm...then, remember being a virgin and having the first night?Everything is so awkward and some said it's scary too.Not sure what to do or react.To make noise or to keep quiet? However,there is always the first time for everything right?At first,I didn't want to go as I want to watch Astro Box Office but after considering that I'm being treated like a shit,I did go nonchalalantly. Thanks dude for the pep talk.

I even bought a new belt and pant too.I put my best white cotton shirt with strangely,a royal blue tie that did not match anything except err...my underwear colour.I wear my favourite Hugo Boss smell and I shaved too.Well,look good does count nowadays being the good brain come in the first place.

2 stages later,I made peace with myself.

All this while I'm brainwashed that I'm like an old virgin such that nobody want me.That day,I knew what are my asking price should be.This old virgin does indeed have a price.

Cop!

Are you sure you are a virgin Sir?

Psst.That is a secret.Just like the result of the interview too.

Cirle Of Life

Remember in my last entry I wrote something about how envy I am with one of my friend.The one that I dubbed so handsome, so successful in life and live happily ever after with his wife and so cute daughter.Yup!I still jealous with him.I still want his life.Err...minus the wife because I think his wife has morphed into something that looks very much like a sister to him.

A little while,I met one of my long lost friend at one of my many functions. Mmm... welcome back to KL dude!He told me,I still look very much the same just like when he left me for good.Still single and handsome.No major progress at all.Very much static. Still flat as it used to be.Yep!The latter refer to my mid section area aka my six packs.

He wished to have my body and immediately I brushed him aside that I would never trade like ever if in return I have to have his body.Hahaha!No offence dude.But please accept the fact that you are not jambu anymore.You are so FAT.So fat such that he had to tailor made all his pants as no off the racks size will fit him.Yeah!That what will happen if you are married and happy.To those who are still single and miserable, all of the racks size I declared is yours to enjoy.

Now what?

X want to be Y.
Z want to be X.

So?

X=Alhamdulillah.

Life is indeed a circle.

P.S I'm 5 kilos more to go to my Form 5 weight.Wish me luck.

Tapi Bukan Aku

Jangan lagi kau sesali keputusanku
Ku tak ingin kau semakin kan terluka
Tak ingin ku paksakan cinta ini
Meski tiada sanggup untuk kau terima

Aku memang manusia paling berdosa
Khianati rasa demi keinginan semu
lLebih baik jangan mencintaiku aku dan semua hatiku
Karena takkan pernah kau temui, cinta sejati

reff:
Berakhirlah sudah semua kisah ini
Dan jangan kau tangisi lagi
Sekalipun aku takkan pernah mencoba kembali padamu
Sejuta kata maaf terasa kan percuma
Sebab rasa ku tlah mati untuk menyadarinya

Semoga saja kan kau dapati
Hati yg tulus mencintaimu
Tapi bukan aku




::Keris Pateh

Bunuh Diri

Pernahkah anda rasa mahu bunuh diri?

Ya.Saya pernah.Saya tahu bunuh diri itu kufur nikmat.Saya juga tahu itu adalah pemikiran yang salah tetapi tersecara tidak sengaja seimbas lalu saya terfikir akannya. Idea bunuh diri itu sudah ada bercambah di kepala tapi malangnya cara pelaksanaannya tidak pula terbayangkan langsung. Maklumlah, saya kan ala-ala Bree Van de Kamp sedikit.Penuh teliti dan cerewet membuat sesuatu hatta memilih pasta di pasar raya sekali pun.

Orang bunuh diri atas banyak alasan.Ada yang gagal dalam peperiksaan, gagal dalam percintaan, gagal dalam kehidupan atau yang paling kelakar setakat ini pernah saya dengar ialah ada suri rumah di Perak bunuh diri sebab gagal dapat pinggan mangkok baru dari suaminya. Argh!Mak cik. Kenapalah kau tak telefon atau SMS saya.Sah lah saya akan berlari laju ke IKEA belikan pinggan mangkok baru untuk kamu.

Mmmm....Patutkah satu kehidupan dibunuh sendiri atas tiket satu kegagalan atau sekadar satu dozen set pinggan mangkok?Nampak macam remeh tidak masuk akal bukan?Hakikatnya, ia tidak semudah itu. Bagi mereka yang kegagalan itu bukan kawan baiknya, semua ini amat sukar dicerna akal.

Bunuh diri itu satu idea bodoh.Walaupun hanya sekadar terfikir seimbas lalu.

Hari itu tatkala berlari riang di taman bunga,saya ternampak satu adegan yang buat saya insaf tentang itu.Tentang betapa mahalnya harga sebuah kehidupan ini.

Selagi masih bernafas,hidup perlu diteruskan.

Beraman damailah dengan kegagalan waima kegagalan itu memang kawan baikmu.

Jadi,ada sesiapa yang rasa mahu bunuh diri?

Saya mungkin boleh menolong ceritakan apa yang saya nampak agar anda ada pilihan kedua.

P.S Terasa amat lelaki Melayu terakhirlah pula mengunakan kata ganti diri saya di karangan ini.

Now,Everyone Can Ping Pong


Arrow:Writer in action.

Please blame Miji.Now for all of April there are no badminton.Not even once.Miji was late.All slots available was fully booked.

So what to do?If Plan A fail then go to Plan B.The sweat must go on.

Plan B=Ping pong.

What?Ping pong!I smirked unconvinced.I know what is ping but ping with a pong is a new territory for me.Ping pong is so not my forte.So unpopular.Who play ping pong anyway?Nerd?Jerk?Or loser?Ping pong is so second class sport.

Nonchalantly,kudos to Miji.For his undying passion to manipulate all the boys to play ping pong.For that,arthiristis or non arthiristis patients took turn patiently to play.Rizal even bought a new racket.Err...do we called that red and black face thing to hit the ball a racket?Please pardon me for that.See.Have I told you that ping pong is a new territory for me.

Now,after a few training session,all my pessimist thought are turned over.I want to confess that ping pong is so much fun.So crazy.I once halucinated that 'ping-pong' sound in my afternoon nap.It's so addictive too.We even once opened the tables right after office hours end but with the CEO still in the meeting room literally besides us.Hahaha!Like I care. The sweat must go on.

So now what?

If the boy with server type of legs like me can play ping pong,I think so does everyone else with the normal legs too.

Do you ping pong?Now,I'm not shy to say that I do.

Chop!Wait a minute.

Psst!Don't told Faber that I don't know how to smash yet.

P.S I miss badminton so much.

Ops Bersih!

Dekat 6 tahun(kot!) di sini,tahun 2008 ini barulah terbuka hidayah untuk manusia-manusia di tempat aku menaip hari-hari dan kawasan-kawasan yang sama waktu dengannya untuk berhijrah suasana.Jadi bersih dan bebas kotak seadanya.Gila!Cuba bayangkanlah suasananya kalau anda tidak pernah buang sampah selama 6 tahun?Masya Allah.Sahlah macam bukit tinggi sampahnya.Macam ini banyaknya.


Bapak banyak sampah!

Nasib baiklah ketika aktiviti membersih aku yang tidak tahu menahu telah selamba bercuti ria. Bila terdatang pejabat untuk ambil laptop, tengok pejabat semua dah jadi cantik.Secantik kakak-kakak di bilik sana.Terima kasih semua!

Cerita pasal kakak,sekarang ada kakak kemas pejabat yang baru.Di import khas dari negara Indonesia.Serius aku suka bangat sama dia punya hasil kerja.Sekali pandang,mmm...ada iras-iras Misae.Oops!Matilah aku kena pelangkong nanti.Tapi kakak ini memang bagus kerjanya. Kalau ada 5 markah,5 markah aku akan bagi dia.Pernah aku terperanjat datang pejabat bila meja aku bertukar kemas.Dialah punya kerja itu.Habis kertas yang berselerakan jadi kemas berkumpulan.Tapi kalau aku ada di meja,dia agak segan hendak mengemas meja aku. Lagipun sudah banyak kali aku menolak permintaan dia untuk mengemas meja aku.Maka,inilah hasilnya.


Konon-kononnya bersenilah ambil gambar padahal meja macam celaka bersepah.

Berselerak sepanjang tahun dan pastinya untuk tahun-tahun yang akan datang juga.Sah!Aku memang kuat DNA lelakinya kerana hanya perempuan sahajalah yang kemas mejanya. Hahaha!Itulah ayat seorang pemalas yang dalam penafian.

Meja yang serabut ini memang satu manifestasi sama dengan masalah yang berserabut di dalam isi kepala ini.Masalah cintalah(?),masalah keluargalah,masalah kerjalah, masalah bengang dengan bosslah dan macam-macam masalah lain lagi.Hidup ini memang penuh dengan masalah.

Hai.Kan bagus kalau semua masalah ini adalah sampah.Bisa sahaja aku minta kakak itu tolong buangkan.

Atau.

Kan bagus kalau aku jadi dia.Tenang sahaja di sana tanpa masalah.

B.O.R.O.I


Gila!Tak nampak kaki.

Mereka ada di mana-mana.Di atas,di bawah,di kiri dan di kanan.Dari tingkat 19 ke tingkat 16,ke tingkat 2 sampailah ke bahagian tak ada tingkat sekalipun. Mereka ada macam-macam reka bentuk.Dari yang comel secomelnya sehinggalah ke rupa paras yang aku kira agak buruk pada pandangan mata kasar aku.Dengan hanya melihat,mereka berupaya buat aku takut untuk melihat masa depan aku.

Apakah aku akan jadi seperti mereka?

Mengikut kata Pengarah Perubatan, Institut Jantung Negara (IJN), Datuk Seri Dr. Robaayah Zambahari,golongan mereka itu berstatistikkan 48% lelaki di Malaysia atau dengan kata ngerinya,hampir separuh daripada populasi lelaki di Malaysia.

Ya.Mereka itu ialah orang gemuk.Maafkan aku kalau ada yang terhina. Gemuk itu indah tapi boroi itu tidak.Aku amat takut penyakit boroi itu. Sungguhlah trauma sehinggakan aku tidak akan masuk berenang jika ada lelaki boroi yang sedang bersuka-ria di dalam kolam sana. Tidaklah juga dapat aku membayangkan betapa tidak cantik aku rasanya tatkala beraktiviti berbogel wajib di hadapan cermin setiap pagi jika ukur lilit perut itu bersaiz 35.4 inci, saiz rasmi kategori obesiti.

Hai.Kenapalah di TM sini ramai sangat lelaki boroi?Dah macam broadband. Ada di mana-mana.

Aku rasa macam lemas.Macam ikan emas sebalang kaca dengan ikan keli yang bermisai panjang.

Anorexia Nervosa!Tolonglah datang sini.Serang hendap mereka yang buat aku takut itu.

P.S Gambar pemandangan dari atas di atas ialah bukan gambar aku kerana jika itu aku maka akan ternampaklah benda-benda yang sepatutnya tidak nampak.Untuk makluman, gambar di atas diplagiat sesuka hati aku daripada aktiviti berGoogle.

Macam Boss

Dia	:Man!Kau dah jadi bos ke belum?
Aku	:Belum.Kenapa?Kau nak ambil aku jadi bos ke?
Dia	:Hahaha!Kau tak layaklah jadi bos.Tak ada tokoh lagi.
Aku	:Hello.Excuse me.
Dia	:Jangan marah bro.I'm talking about your perut.Tak boroi lagi.
Aku	:Perut?
Dia	:Well.Nak jadi bos perut kenalah boroi.
Aku	:Biol.
Dia	:Cuba kau tengok perut bos-bos kau.Semua boroikan?
Aku	:Hahaha!Tapi betullah cakap kau.
Dia	:See the perutlah my friend.

Teruklah macam ini.Aku nak jadi bos tapi aku tak mahu jadi boroi.

Nota:Kata ganti diri 'kau' diguna sebagai mengaburi mata pihak musuk kerana dalam dialog sebenar aku tidak membahasakan dia sebagai kau.

In The Loop



I got an email and a series of phone calls too.From a client.She want to submit a proposal and asked me my quotation for that particular project. Err...I wonder why she contacted me on the first place?

Without opened the attachment because I'm too busy and furthermore it's not my work to quote a proposal,I simply forwarded that email to my big boss.

Later that evening,I got an email saying something 'thank you for putting me in the loops".

Gulp!I got LOOP from my boss!

What is that suppose to mean?Am I in danger or did I do something wrong?I felt slightly uneasy with that loop word.

2 days later over a nasi briani,I shared my story over a members of the table.I received a lot of response.Mostly it's a smirked at my unnecessary paranoid.

"Loop tu macam kau put him for his concernlah!".

Explained one of my English-speaking-at-home friend.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!I thought it's a negative connotation or something".

Pergh!What a relief.My English is so damn bad.Well,I'm an engineer and for starter, loop is never a good word for me.

Infinite loop,anyone?

Ring any bell?

If none of the bell is ringing,then maybe I'm in trouble.

Well,it's sometimes very hard to understand why engineer talk to himself so much than to his girlfriend.

Engineer are species that very hard to understand.

Just like an accountant or a lawyer.

Or a model.

Kisah Derma Darah Di Pejabat


Bukan sekadar gambar hiasan.

Yeah!Hari itu ada kempen derma darah anjuran TM MSC.Aku sebagai penderma tegar sungguh teruja sekali.Sehabis rutin mesyuarat pagi,aku sudah berjaya membolosi benteng pertahanan sibuk untuk pergi menderma sedikit darah.Wah!Terharu sungguh rasanya bila kakak juru ambil darah itu meletakkan darah cantik warna merah seplastik beg itu diatas peha aku yang pejal. Sungguh panas darah aku.Itulah kali pertama dalam karier aku sebagai seorang penderma darah,aku dibenarkan bermesra dengan darah sendiri sebelum darah itu menjadi darah orang lain.Memang sedih.Memang tiba-tiba terasa tak mahu berpisah langsung.OK.Itu hanya drama!

Naik ke pangkalan di tingkat 2,aku war-warkan hasil risikan aku di bawah tadi. Err... aku terjumpa sesuatu yang cantik gila juga di sana tadi.Memang serius cantik berseri-berseri!

Cis!Hampeh.Sikit pun suami-suami yang setia ini tidak teruja dengan cerita gadis cantik aku.Setelah penat melobi dan memanipulasi,akhirnya dapatlah aku 5 satria binari ria yang terpedaya.

Namun,kita hanya mampu merancang tapi Tuhan yang menentukan.

Belum apa-apa lagi,1 satria binari ria sudah gagal.Berpenyakit Arthiristis(?) katanya.

2 lagi gagal pula kerana bertekanan darah tinggi.OK!Aku agak faham kalau bos aku gagal kerana dia memang selalu bertekanan darah tinggi melayan karenah aku yang asyik bermasalah tapi Kimi.Err...bukan kat luar tadi darah kau bertekanan rendah ke?Apa pasal bila masuk dalam untuk derma darah,naik pula tekanan darah kau?Mmm...takut jarum ke bang?Adui!Macam-macam hal betullah kawan-kawan aku.

Sudahnya,dari 5 satria binari ria,hanya 2 yang berjaya ke peringkat akhir.

Tahniah Rizal dan Pak Ya.

Yang tak berjaya,kita cuba lagi tahun depan.

Fahizal dan Rizal,kau jangan nak bagi alasan tak cukup makan lagi tahun depan.

Nota:Aku agak tak puas hati sebab tak dapat makan lepas derma darah.Hampeh betul pihak penganjur.

Siapa Yang Bersalah Sebenarnya:A,B,D?

A mengadu dengan aku.Ikut mulut manisnya Blah yang salah.Blah yang buat dosa dengan aku. Ini disahkan lagi oleh fakta dari C yang memang kepoh gila yang mana menurut kata C dia dapat maklumat itu dari D.C pun tak puas hati sebenarnya dengan B(dan A juga). Aduh!Sungguh rumit sekali kesengalan ini.Bagaimanalah harus aku menarik rambut di dalam tepung agar rambut tidak putus dan tepung tidak berselerak kalau sebegini pusing senarionya?

Persoalan aku.Siapakah punya angkara terhadap permasalahan ini?

A beria-ria mengatakan yang dia tak salah.Dia hanya menjalan tugas. OK.Suka hati kaulah nak cakap apa sahaja sebab aku memang tak pernah percaya pun.Bila aku bersemuka dengan B,B kata dia tak salah. A yang salah.A yang sebenarnya buat aku rasa tersiksa.B kata dia hanya menjalankan tugas sahaja.

Aduh!Babilah dua-dua orang ini.Sama sahaja dua orang babi ini.Cuba main wayang drama Cina dengan aku.

Tapikan!

Babilah oi!Kalau kau nak berlakon pun dengan aku,cubalah pakai skrip yang sama. Berlatih baca skrip sama-sama dahulu.Ini cerita A dan B tak sama langsung.Kalau sama cerita, taklah aku suka-suka hati nak bagi babi percuma.Babi mahal apa sekarang!

Entahlah!Kenapa susah sangat mereka yang babi itu hendak mengaku?Sebesar peluru berpandu agaknya ego mereka.

Jadi?Siapa yang salah sebenarnya?

Aku?

Err...pasal apa pula aku yang salah.Bukan aku mangsa ke di kes ini?

Baik.Kalau aku yang salah,aku tak halalkan dunia akhirat hak aku yang sepatutnya.

Bergembiralah hidup kamu semua babi-babi dengan keputusan itu.

Kuiz hari ini:Berapa kalikah kata babi disebut dalam karangan di atas?

Panjangnya!

Aku solat sebelah dia.Dia,seorang teman tapi tidak kuasa aku nak mesra. Dunia kami berbeza kastanya.Dia kat atas sana dan aku cuma rakyat biasa berdarah merah di bawah sini.

Tengah khusyuk rukuk,aku hilang khusyuk.What the...?Biar betul apa yang aku nampak. Hari itu memang hari bertuah aku.Barulah aku dapat sahkan apa yang orang lain selalu gosipkan itu bukan khabar angin tapi ia sesuatu yang ada benarnya.Hah!Baru aku tahu hari itu kenapa setokin dia selalu koyak kat depan.

Waduh!Bapak gila panjang kuku kaki dia.Dah panjang itu satu hal,kotor dan hitam pula. Err... main bola sepak dalam hari hujan ke bang?Memang tak indah sungguh pemandangan rukuk aku.

Aku selalu ditertawakan kenapa aku boleh ada kawan sebegitu pengotor. Jauh macam Princess Diana dengan Amy Winehouse perbezaan kami. Aku sebenarnya tak tahu nak buat apa. Nak ditegur dia,tak tercapai pula dek mulutku.Tapi kalau tidak ditegur,aku pula yang dikutuk masyarakat mulut dan bermata jahat.

Dilemma ini sebenarnya sudah lama menghantui aku.Tapi hakikatnya aku tak peduli pun apa orang nak kata tentang badan dia kerana aku bukan kawan mesra berkongsi rahsia pun dengan dia. Itu hak dia nak berkuku panjang.Itu badan dia.

Err...bagaimana pula dengan kawan-kawan saya semua yang saya sayang?

Sudahkah anda memotong kuku kaki anda?

Ingatlah.Sesibuk mana sekali pun anda mengumpul duit yang membusut itu,kasut mahal anda tidak boleh buat anda nampak cantik kalau kuku kaki anda yang panjang itu mengoyakkan setokin RM10 dapat 3 itu.

Solat Berjemaah



Solat berjemaah itu indah.Ada imam di depan.Ada makmum mengikuti di belakang.

Tidak payah di perah minda berfikir dalam-dalam,susunan yang difardukan itu memang ada falsafahnya.Di luar atau di dalam medan solat.

Ironinya tidak semua orang begitu.Kadang-kadang melihat karektor jemaah yang berniat baik boleh buat aku naik geram.Ini geram bukan pasal telefon tiba-tiba memekak lagu Umbrella ella ella eh! eh! eh! tatkala sang imam baik-baik sahaja tajwidnya membaca Al-Fatihah. Juga ini bukan geram sebab makcik-makcik sebelah tak sudah-sudah bergossip dari sepi syahdu tahiyat kedua sehinggalah ke tahiyat terakhir.

Ini geram kerana susunan makmum yang mengikut di belakang.OK!Sila salahkan penyakit Obsessive Compulsive Disorder itu.Kadang-kadang dan selalunya aku lihat susun aturnya agak popular berat sebelah ke arah kiri.Tak stabil sungguh laksana kapal terbang bersayap sebelah. Jahil sangatkah mereka sebab setahu aku susunan makmum yang aku belajar bukan begitu gaya rupanya.

Alasannya,kalau ke kanan nanti ada kemungkinan kena jadi imam.Aik!Yang bab ini tahu pula. Tak jahil pun sebenarnya.Aiyo!Memanglah afdal pilih yang kanan jadi imam tapi kalau kurang kelayakan seperti tak kahwin lagi ke atau tak pergi haji lagi ke,yang kiri atau tengah bisa sahaja boleh jadi imam.

Aku kalau orang tepuk lembut bahu aku suruh jadi imam,aku selamba sahaja menurut walhal kadang-kadang selepas itu aku agak tersipu-sipu malu melihat adanya calon-calon lain agak lebih berkaliber ada sesaf rupanya dengan aku.Mmm...adakah aku nampak berwibawa sungguh dari pandangan belakang?Sekali tengok kat depan pakai V neck rupanya imam tadi.Hahaha!

Persetankan soal leher V itu.Err...susah sangat ke nak jadi imam?

Buat yang dah kahwin dan yang dah pergi haji,janganlah segan-segan nak jadi imam. Sila sedar diri sedikit.

Buat yang dah kahwin dan yang dah pergi haji,janganlah berebut-berebut dengan aku nak duduk sebelah kiri.

Err...kerana sebenarnya,aku pun malas nak jadi imam juga.

Kisah Satu Sejadah



Ini *KPI aku.

Seminggu sekali paling kurang solat Maghrib berjemaah mesti ditunaikan. Itu azam aku. Itupun kalau boleh dan kalau sempat.

Hari itu aku habis gym lambat sebab lupa diri seketika.Sudahnya, terkejar-kejarlah berlari ke surau.Nasib baik sempat.Dapat juga jadi makmum.Dapat juga masbuk di saat akhir.Tengah solat aku jadi insaf.Terharu yang amat sangat.

Abang sebelah kiri aku tolong bentangkan sejadah buat aku. Buat lapik dahi aku yang sejuk cecah lantai marmar berair sisa wuduk.Itulah jadinya kalau sudah lambat dan tergesa-gesa. Sejadah ke mana.Kain pelekat pun ikat gaya entah apa-apa.Asal boleh sahaja.

Insiden itu buat aku rasa kecil sekali.Ada lagi spesies manusia baik di dunia ini rupanya. Aksi jejaka yang aku kira berpangkat abang itu mungkin kecil tapi agak besar maknanya bagi aku. Apalah agaknya yang telah aku buat sampai dapat kebaikan hati seperti itu?

Hidup bekerja memang akan sibuk sentiasa tapi dah namanya kerja, buat sampai mati pun memang tak akan habis-habis punya.Maka,marilah kita sama-sama solat berjemaah.


Nota:Key Performance Index.